Wednesday, September 08, 2004


Mel Gibson Writes In!

Yes, folks, it's true: Mel Gibson reads Mullah Billdoug! I loved him in Lethal Weapon, didn't you? The way he looked all crazy at the beginning, shoving that gun in his mouth like he was going to blow his brains out, and jumping off that building with the guy, and scaring the hell out of Danny Glover, but then turning out to be a real-life action hero? Man. I love that stuff.

Anyway, I have a letter here from him:

Dear Mullah Billdoug:

Just want to say, I love your blog! I read it every day, most days several times. I admit it, I'm hooked!

There's something I can't figure out, though. You keep portraying Jesus in different ways. Here, for example, it's 1912 and He's a large boneless blob in the upstairs room of a honkey-tonk. Here, and here, he's a wild rapscallion in heaven, raising hell with Mohammed. Here, he's also in heaven, but as a tiny suckling baby who takes Mary's breast out of his mouth and talks like an adult. And here, he's a young unborn Rotarian visiting the Seventy translators at Alexandria, in 281 BC. Which is it? I mean, shouldn't you be more consistent in your portrayals of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, who suffered and suffered and suffered and suffered and suffered under Pontius Pilate?

Anyway, keep up the good work!

Yours in Christ,
Mel Gibson

Well, Mel, sorry, but all the editors are out of the office again, so I really can't help you. I'm just the janitor, Jerry Falwell (no relation to the famous Jerry Falwell, who I'm sure would know more about Jesus than I do, though I love him, Jesus I mean, from the bottom of my heart and mind and soul). But they did show me how to post letters to the blog, and I'm sure they'll be getting back to you with detailed answers to your really good questions when they get back!

Jerry Falwell

P.S. Since you seem to know so much about how Jesus suffered under Pontius Pilate, maybe you should make a movie about it? That would be awesome, man. Gosh, I can't believe I'm writing to Mel Gibson! I love you, man! You're the greatest!

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