Saturday, September 25, 2004
Challenged Sufi Mullah
State your name, please.
Mullah Billdoug.
And you're a Muslim mullah?
Well, I'm not a Catholic priest or a Jewish rabbi.
Don't get smart with me.
Sorry.
What kinda Muslim? Sunni, Shi'ite?
Sufi.
Oh yeah? What's that?
A nonsectarian Muslim sect.
A which, now? Cheney, get on that damn computer, check this Sufi story out.
Sure, Karl.
Nonsectarian. We don't have doctrines.
Oh, don't believe anything at all, huh?
We believe lots of things. We believe everything, in fact.
Oh yeah? Everything?
Yep.
You believe I'm going to kick your ass down five flights of stairs?
You've been reading my blog! And here I thought I had no readers.
Answer the question.
Of course I believe you.
How about this: you believe I'm going to kiss you on the lips, slip you the tongue, and slide my pink and puffy left hand down your pants?
You bet I do.
You believe I'm the smartest man in the world?
Yes.
You believe you're smarter than me?
Yes.
Gotcha! That means you believe contradictory things!
I do.
Do you believe it's colder in winter or in the mountains?
I do.
Do you believe Satan can't possibly stop ceasing to become non-Yahweh?
I do.
Do you believe George W. Bush possesses gifts that I never gave him?
I do.
Damn, you do believe everything!
Hey Karl, get this!
What?
I got a website here says that "Sufism has no room for fundamentalism or fanaticism because it has challenged the institution of the mullah."
Oh yeah? What do you say about that, huh, Sufi Mullah?
I agree with it completely.
