Tuesday, March 01, 2005

 

Fatal Relapse!

Thousands of well-wishers and devout believers gathered outside of the hospital in heaven today, praying for the speedy recovery of Mullah Billdoug, who suffered a relapse of his strangulated semi-hiatus over the weekend, and had to undergo an emergency intubation for his RSS feed. Doctors say that he is fine, no need to worry, but they have forbidden him from blogging for at least the next week in order to let his bowels settle. There is no danger of his dying and going to hell, since he’s already in heaven, and therefore, presumably dead.

Unfortunately, Dr. Spiriti Sanctiblogger, the Mullah’s beloved physician, is unavailable to treat him at this time. Hospital officials would only say that he was “semantically challenged” and therefore unavailable. In his absence, Dr. Paulip Bowelblogger is handling the case.

The Mullah will forego his traditional blessing of the keyboards while he recovers, but the business of Sufi University will go on as usual under the supervision of his staff.