Tuesday, September 07, 2004
The Swift Boat Ad Karl Rove Decided Not To Run
Fade up on John Kerry's face, grimacing evilly, with photoshopped devil horns and goatee.
VOICEOVER: John Kerry says he wants to be President. John Kerry says he's a war hero. John Kerry says a lot of things.
A cartoon ghost drifts into frame.
GHOST 1: I served under John Kerry in Vietnam. I was on his boat. He killed me dead. John Kerry murdered me. That flipflop liar snuck up on me and pushed my face into my soup until I drowned. Now he's running for President and I'm dead. I wish someone would kill him. Then I'd beat him up for killing me.
The first ghost is joined by a second.
GHOST 2: I served under John Kerry in Vietnam too, until he snuck up on me from behind and hit me in the back of the head with a baseball bat. And he's a Satan-worshipper, too.
The first two ghosts are joined by a third. It's getting a little crowded.
GHOST 3: John Kerry says he wants to be President, but he isn't even human. He's a devil-goat with sharp teeth. I saw him unzipping his John Kerry suit late one night on the swift boat, when he thought nobody was looking. That's when I understood where the tall forehead came from: they had to make the suit like that to fit his long goat head into it. Do we elect devil-goats with sharp teeth in John Kerry suits President? I don't think so.
VOICEOVER: John Kerry says he wants to be President. But then John Kerry says a lot of things. Paid for by Swift Boat Veterans For Truth.