Monday, October 25, 2004
Threesome
"Mr. President," Cher says. "It's an honor. I'm looking at a picture of you right now."
"Yeah?" Lincoln says. "Good likeness?"
"You tell me," Cher says. "It's a nickel."
"I need to talk to you about something," Lincoln says. "Any chance you could stop by?"
"What something?" Cher says.
"How you think I'm as ugly as John Kerry," Lincoln says. "I wanna prove you wrong."
"That's easy," Cher says. "I'll just admit it right here on the phone. You're right, I'm wrong."
"Ever had sex with a president?" Lincoln says.
"Yep," Cher says.
"Ever had sex with a Republican president?" Lincoln says.
"Nope," Cher says, "and I ain't about to start."
"I'm pretty liberal for a Republican," Lincoln says.
"I'm pretty old for fairy tales," Cher says.
"I hear you're three hundred years old," Lincoln says. "Any truth in that?"
"None," Cher says. "I'm well under a hundred."
"I'd still like to make the blowfish with two spines with you," Lincoln says.
"I wouldn't mind doing it with one of your tunas," Cher confesses. "I think Charlie is smokin."
"That can be arranged," Lincoln says. "How about a threesome?"
"What, you, me, and Charlie?" Cher says.
"For instance," Lincoln says.
"That's just disgusting," Cher says, and hangs up the phone.
Lincoln turns to Kerry.
"That went well, I think," he says.
