Monday, October 11, 2004


Valley of the Voodoo Dolls

You’d like me to do what?

Join our team. Become one of us. A partner.

A Voodoo Olympian?

Think about it, doc. Wrap your mind around the possibilities.

But, well, I don’t know. Would I just be a token hire? Or will I really be in the power structure?

No, no. We’re out to really expand our ethnic and cultural diversity here on Olympus. We’ve got scouts out right now in India, Africa, China, the Phillipines, even America and France, checking out all the religions.

Can I throw lightning bolts?

Sure, sure. Everybody gets to sling a bolt or two, now and then.

Well…okay, then. I guess. Where do I sign?

Oh, no no. Heavens. No signing. I just say the word, and you’re in.

Fine, then.

Gooood, gooood. Listen, you do have the, um, doll, right?

The doll?

You know the one.

Oh, that? No, no. I gave that to Baron Samedi. He insisted. Very powerful Loa.

You’re not a Loa?

Me? No, I’m just a medical examiner who happens to practice the Old Faith.

Oh, well, then. Ahem. I don’t know how to say this…

I’m uninvited, right?

Well, you see, we can only allow deities and spirits to join the team, officially. We could make you an honorary Olympian.

No, that’s okay.

Well, okay. Sorry about the confusion. If we ever need an autopsy on Olympus, you're the man, I promise. You wouldn’t happen to know where I could find this Baron Samedi, do you?

Yes, of course. He’s in treatment right now.

Treatment? For what?

Addiction to bribery, I think. They found out over in Legba that he was taking bribes at the crossroads to the spirit world. He refused to stop. That’s why I gave him the doll. He said he might need it while he was in treatment.

Okay, where’s this treatment center?

Here’s the address. It’s a specialty center, for priests, cult leaders, liberals and deities.

How will I recognize Baron Samedi?

He’ll be the one wearing a top hat, black coat tails, sunglasses, and smoking a cigar. Can’t miss him.

Right, thanks.

And your name was what again?

Oh, just call me Vulcan.

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