Sunday, January 23, 2005


Sanctiblogging Off the Bus

But then Sanctiblogger has one of his famous ideas.

How famous are his ideas?

His ideas are so famous, four major motion picture studios once had a bidding war for the rights to the fourteenth idea he thought up in a given month.

His ideas are so famous, the Pope once issued a Papal Bull banning them and excommunicating anyone who participated in a bidding war for the rights to them.

His ideas are so famous, at least three gods during the recent deity election begged him to manage their campaigns, promising him wealth, a long healthy life, and longer-lasting erections in return.

His new idea: sanctiblog his way off the heaven bus. Grab some screen shots and photoshop them into the reality he desires, namely, being led off the bus at the Outposts of Freedom with the attractive young women in sports bras, or the Islands of Tyranny, or wherever the hell they are getting off, and not being left on the bus alone and at the mercy of Alberto Torture Memo Gonzales, who is just as likely to drive him to the Island of Detention at Guantanamo Bay and call it Outpost of Tyranny #6.

So he starts whistling. He straightens his back. He plasters a big dumb goofy grin on his wrecked visage. And he grabs the screen shot. Dumb-de-dumb. And he opens Photoshop. Doo-de-doo. And he organizes the attractive young women in sports bras by the front door and makes them all smile welcomingly at him, Dr. Spiriti Sanctiblogger. And then he desaturates Alberto Gonzales, and--

Damn. Why--why does Gonzales's face refuse to desaturate? And why, when he tries to upload the image to his sanctiblog, does he keep getting the same error message?


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