Monday, October 25, 2004



"I've got Cher on hold," Kerry says.

"Put her on speakerphone," Lincoln says.

"With all due respect, Abe," Kerry says, "I think you should reconsider. Sexual politics are different now. You could get in big trouble--"

"Don't give me that shit," Lincoln says. "Look at Clinton. He fucked everything with a pussy."

"Yes," Kerry says, "and look what the Republicans did to him."

"That's because to conservatives sex is the only sin that counts," Lincoln says, "because they ain't doing it themselves. Look at Bush, too busy fucking the world to fuck his wife. Fuck the environment, fuck the poor, fuck the economy, fuck the Enron shareholders, fuck the Afghans and the Iraqis, fuck reality, fuck everything but his wife."

"Well--" Kerry says.

"To the mantids," Lincoln expostulates, "everything is allowed, so long as you do it in God's name--except sex. Most of them bugs are parthenogenetic anyway, that's probably why."

"I don't think that's strictly true--" Kerry starts.

"Me," Lincoln says, "I was married, first time around. Now I'm single. Now I'm gonna get me a little. Put her on speakerphone."

"You're the boss, boss," Kerry says, and puts Cher on speakerphone.

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