Wednesday, September 15, 2004


Online Zeros

Dear Mullah Billdoug,

In reference to the quite interesting theory propounded by my colleague at On-Line Bush, Dr. Moshpath, that we may have entered into a new Year Zero such as was inaugurated at the Birth of Our Most Holy Lord and Messianic Savior Jesus Christ--

Our clocks here at Oral Roberts have shown no signs of stopping--except, I might add, on that godless channel of Satanic filth, John Kerry propaganda, and anal sex the Internet. This leads us to conclude that, if the Year Zero has indeed begun, it has done so only on line.

Which makes me wonder: what's the situation at the other Bush campuses, the ones located in yardstick space? Do they still have clock time, or not?

I would also suggest that my esteemed colleague Dr. Moshpath leave the creationist meteorology to the experts, and not go predicting divine weather that he obviously knows so little about. There is, for example, absolutely no Scriptural precedent for giant collection plates in the clouds; and we haven't seen an incidence of fish-stick rain since midnight, the Year of Our Lord, 999, in Arles, France, and do not expect one again any time soon.

For God's Own Weather, this is
Mike Riddle
Professor of Creationist Meteorology
Oral Roberts University
signing off

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