Thursday, September 09, 2004


WiFi Tap

Mullah, Here's the latest wireless transcript. I haven't yet identified the speakers on the tape, but I thought maybe you would know. Fatima

A: So did you boys see the latest from that big dumb horse Ann Coulter?

B: Oh, what, that she hates Bill O'Reilly?

C: I said all along that we should bring her in, torture her a little.

D: Shut up, Rummy. You and your torture.

A: No. The thing about her and Jesus.

D: Oh, something about Jesus attacking big corporations for scamming shareholders?

A: Right.

B: Yeah, I saw that. Dump Christianity, kill the liberals, usher in a new era of American freedom.

C: I still think it'd be a good idea to strip her naked, put her in a room with a couple of big beefy military subcontractors, and--

D: Shut up, Rummy. Haven't you gotten us in enough trouble already with your torture memos?

C: Karl, Dick keeps--

A: Shut up, both of you.

B: Besides, how are you going to humiliate Ann Coulter? That broad is incapable of feeling shame.

A: Good point.

C: But then--

A: But you're right, Donald. She's hurting us in the polls. She's hurting us with the Christian Right. She could hurt us very badly with Olivia Dunktert and the forbidden experiment. Something ought to be done.

B: Something--permanent, Karl?

A: Something--relatively permanent, yes.

B: So you're saying that as the Attorney-General, I should--

A: I'm not saying anything, John.

B: Oh. Right.

A: I'm not giving orders. I'm just thinking out loud.

D: Don't you think, though, Karl, that this born-again shit has gone too far? I mean, it's one thing for the Chimp Clone to say God talks to him, but--

A: No, I don't, Dick.

D: I'm just saying, Karl, that maybe Ann's got a point.

A: A point in the press is worth ten in the polls, Dick.

D: Yeah, you're right. Sorry. I was just thinking out loud.

A: Well, don't.

D: Right.

A: So--what have we been talking about here today, boys?

B: Uh--not sure?

C: The budget?

D: Halliburton?

A: Good boys.

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