Thursday, November 11, 2004


Denial Ain't a River in Heaven

You know that they meant to get you, Jesus.

Don’t be silly. Who’d want to kidnap me?

Your dad’s behind it. Face the facts. He wants you out.

Does not. My dad loves me. He just has a hard time showing it. All those years in the desert, arguing with Moses. He’s had a rough time.

Look, Jesus, denying it isn’t going to help. Your dad kills people who get in his way. You know it’s true.

Okay, Ghost, fine. Suppose dad does have some anger management issues? Why does that mean he’d want to kidnap me?

He’s planning another kid. A whole new family. I read it in his diary.

You’re lying.

I’m the Holy Ghost. I don’t lie.

Yeah, sure, whatever. How about that time you said my pet rabbit got lost, and then I found you burying it in the back yard?

That was different.

Well, I don’t believe it. I’m going to go to my masseur’s appointment like I always do.

I’m coming along. I’m telling you, when they find out that they got the wrong Jesus, you’re meat.

Fine, come along. Maybe a nice massage with some cucumber cream will calm you down.

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