Wednesday, September 22, 2004
Hey, Cheney says, hanging up the phone, they got Cat Stevens on ice in Maine.
No shit, Rumsfeld says. What for?
Apparently he's some kinda towelhead terrorist these days, Cheney says. Tried to fly into New York, they rerouted him to Maine. Now they're gonna send him back to Tehran or wherever.
London, Rove corrects him.
He's got a whole new monicker, too, Cheney says. Joe Islam, or something.
Yusuf Islam, Rove corrects him.
That's what I said, Cheney says. Can you believe this? I used to love his songs. "Bring tea for the Tillerman, grapes for the sun, wine for the woman ..."
Steak for the sun, Rove corrects him.
Oh, come on, Cheney says. Get real. You can't get wine from steak.
Nobody said you were supposed to get wine from it, Rove says. It's just three different foods. Tea, steak, and wine.
That's just crazy, Cheney says. Nobody drinks tea and wine with steak. It's a wine and cheese party out on a pleasure craft somewhere on the Aegean. Bring tea for the tillerman, but the good stuff for the other--
Damn, Rove cuts in. I got it.
You got what, Dick says.
Call them up in Maine, tell them to hold onto the terrorist son of a bitch.
I'm gonna send him after the Holy Prepuce. I bet the Moon Shadow can find it.
That's brilliant, Rumsfeld breathes. Moon Shadow, Moon Shadow!
I don't know, Cheney says.
There's a lot you don't know, Rove says.
I don't trust those towelheads as far as I can torture em, Cheney says. I mean, look what they did to us on the 9/11 thing.
Let's not get into that again, Rove says.
They changed the fucking plans, Cheney says.
We've been over this, Rove says.
We tell them the Statue of Liberty. Destroy a fucking symbol. They change course at the last minute, take out the Twin Towers. Do you know how much money I lost when those towers came down?
You've told us 10,478,013 times, Rove says.
Yeah! That's how much I lost! All because of those fucking towelheaded towelheads!
Enough, Dick, Rove says. Get on the phone to Maine. Then get the president's helicopter prepped. I'm taking a little trip.
Camp David? Rumsfeld says eagerly.
Rove rolls his eyes, stares past Rumsfeld pointedly.
Don't you have some, I don't know, filing to do? Rove says.
Oh, uh, sure, Rumsfeld says, and scurries out of the room.