Monday, September 06, 2004

 

Opening the Address Book

Hey, man, there’s nothing in this book but dirty pictures and sex stories. Why’s it say “Address Book” on the front?

Dirty pictures? Are you nuts? Those are recipes, with pictures of food above.

Food? That’s a picture of two people doing the horizontal bop. And the text says "I was so amazed when my fantasy came true; it was during the annual office party…" Look, my pecker is getting hard.

What you been smoking, duder? It’s a picture of a huge bowl of couscous and the text says "Mediterranean Couscous Like Mama Used to Make." My mouth is watering.

What do you boys have there?

Ummm, nothing.

Don’t put it behind your back. Let’s see it. Is it a dirty magazine?

Well, um, yes.

No, no. It isn’t. It’s a recipe book.

Hand it over.

You idiots. It’s an auto repair manual for a 1960 Volkswagen. Look at the pictures. What’re you doing with an old, soaked, auto repair manual?

We found it.

In the sewer.

In the sewer, huh? How many times do I have to tell you boys to stay away from the sewer? You could fall into the eye of a hurricane, or get sucked into a goatsuit.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Now let’s see whose repair manual this is. Hm. Mullah Billdoug. That name is familiar. Didn't he used to run a garage in El Paso?




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