Monday, August 30, 2004


B-but, but, but...

How can some guy that claims to be "Bill" post as "Doug"? a student asks.

Quite simple. Here at Advanced Mullaesthetics, we have a device called the Noumenal Uvulator. 12 volts of electricity generated from two beard hairs stuck in a lemon, and applied to the post through the uvulator, creates an amorphous amorous identity ether fog which allows Doug to be Bill or Bill to be Doug, or both to be neither (nor nether) depending on the weather at our branch campus in Tierra del Fuego and the size of their fires at the time of post. It is fully adjustable and available in the bookstore in school colors.

Science marches on. Mullah Billdoug will be attending the RNC as a guestblogger and spiritual advisor to Ralph Reed, and I'm sure there will be dervishes galore as the gong of The Age of Reason is muted by the cries of souls being saved and palms stigmatized in the sweet name of Compassion.

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