Wednesday, January 19, 2005


Reserve Chaplain

The Mullah was searching through the mail that had piled up while he was in hospital.

Get-well cards, hope-you-die cards, insurance bills, a note from Condoleeza Rice asking for an amulet that would help her stop thinking of sex all the time (have to answer that one!), some magazines, and—hey! What’s this? From the Department of the Army?

He opened that one.

Dear Reservist Billdoug,

Greetings! This letter is to inform you that your status has been changed from “inactive” to “active,” effective 1/31/05.

You are hereby directed to appear at Fort Bliss, Texas by that date for retraining…

and so forth.

I’m being drafted? Pressed into service? But I never even served in the Army! What the hell are they on about? I’ll soon straighten this out.

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