Friday, December 03, 2004


In the Sanctuary Bleats a Heart

They pulled into the parking lot of the church. The sign out front said “First Church of the Holy Blog. Services: Blog Adoration, 10:00. Consecration of new Bloggers, 11:00.”

“You sure this is a good idea?” Bill asked, fingering the laptop computer he was holding. “I mean, the last time I went into a church, things didn’t go so good.”

“Go so well, you illiterate doofus. And, yeah, it’s a good idea.” Doug reached in the back seat and pulled out another laptop and opened it up, checking. “Wow! There's a very strong signal here. Now quit being such a baby. You just go inside, send me an email. You know the message.”

“I don’t want to. It’s spooky.”

Doug opened the door on his side, hopped out surprisingly fast for a man of his bulk, and ran around to Bill’s side. He pulled open the door and yanked Bill out by the scruff of his neck. He slapped him several times vigorously, and then shoved him toward the door of the church.

“And don’t come back until you’ve sent the message, either!” he shouted, waving his fist in the air, as he climbed back into the warm car.

“He’ll be sorry,” Bill mumbled, trudging across the icy sidewalk carefully. “If I wasn’t so drunk, I’d-a kicked his ass.” He flipped his cigarette butt into the bushes by the door of the church, and tried the handle. It turned. He opened the door and went inside slowly.

“A-anybody here?” he gurgled. It was quiet and dark. The only light seemed to be coming from the sanctuary across the hall. It was an eerie bluish light. Bill started to turn and go back out the door, but then thought better of it. He crept carefully down the hall, but the damn linoleum on the floor squeaked with each step.

When he got to the swinging doors of the sanctuary, he slowly pushed one open and peeked around the corner.

There were pews, as usual in a church, but in front of each pew was a glowing computer monitor.
He went on in. The place was filled with monitors, all on, all glowing. No screen saver. And up at the altar, where usually there’d be a crucifix or a giant cross or something, there was a huge glowing flat screen. Nothing was displayed on it.

Creeped out, Bill quickly opened the laptop and turned it on. Yes, there was a signal, a very strong one. He opened the mail program, and began writing the message. He couldn’t remember—was it antinominalism or antimonialism? Oh, well. One of those. He hit “SEND” and turned to leave.

But just then every screen in the place came to life. And they all displayed one message… a terrifying message.

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