Thursday, November 18, 2004

 

The Mullah Returns from Vacation

Mullah Billdoug stood there, arms crossed. He was tanned and looking relaxed at first in his new flowery shirt and straw hat, but then he’d looked at the blog and hit the roof. “Well?” he demanded.

Doug spoke first. “Ummm, we’re sorry?”

“You’re sorry? That’s all you have to say? I leave the blog alone for a coupla weeks to go on vacation, ask you two to take care of it, and I come back to this, and all you can say is ‘sorry’?”

“Bill, is there anything you’d like to say?” The Mullah looked very stern.

“We’re, ah, really, really sorry? Like, for real?”

“Doug?”

“Bill made me do it! It was his idea!”

“Did not! You’re such a liar. It was all his idea, Mullah. Just ask the janitor!”

“I left you some very specific directions, didn’t I? No human dildos, one. Two, no Jesus suits. And you had definite instructions to leave the election alone, especially Moon and Yahweh. What do I come back to? Now I’m getting calls from the FEC and DEC, and I have the Christian Coalition camped out on my porch? Satanists tossing bricks through my window? Cockroaches refusing to eat my garbage?”

“We just got carried away, Mullah. The plot just kind of took over, almost like a drug or something. We couldn’t help it.”

“Enough! Both of you! Go to your rooms. Now!”

“Awwww! That’s not fair.”

“Go!”

And off they slunk, punching each other on the arms. "You were s'posed to delete the posts, dickhead."

“And stop hitting!” he yelled again.

“Damn punks… you try to raise ‘em right, and this is what you get,” the Mullah muttered. “Maybe I should never have taught them to read and write…” And then it hit him. He hadn’t taught them! So how had they learned?




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