Thursday, October 28, 2004
A VOTE FOR BA'AL IS A VOTE FOR YOUR PARTY!
(Damascus, Syria) (MBS) Ba'al, the candidate for God of the Heathen Party, today announced His new campaign slogan, "PARTY ON, DUDES!" A crowd here in Damascus was not receptive, noting that Ba'al had not been in the god business for over 2,500 years and the largely Muslim audience could not trust him.
"What's He got that Allah doesn't have?" a street vendor told this reporter. "A lot of smoke, if you ask me," said another.
"If Ba'al was going to be God, He should have been more active than He has. It's way too late for a comeback. Even that old fart, Yahweh, has more experience lately, and a lot more followers. Although Allah is making strides, too," said a spokesperson for the Syrian government, who asked not to be named.
Ba'al Himself declined comment, simply saying after his announcement, "Let's blow this town. I hear there are some good-looking women and some fresh pear brandy over in Jaffa."