Saturday, October 09, 2004

 

Mullah in Denial


So, Mr. Mullah, you claim you never wrote anything?

Look at the posts. See my name underneath any of them? I don't even know how to write. Speaking is a chore. I have transcended words, you know. Tut, tut.

Your assistants claim that you channeled all of these words through them. Forced them to write, to feed your addiction.

Silly boys. I really don't know why they forced me into treatment.

Mr. Mullah, we can't help you if you won't admit you have a problem. Doug and Bill just did what they thought would help you. They're your friends. They just want you to face all of the hurt you've caused.

But there is no problem. No solution, either.

Your relativism isn't going to get you anywhere. You must admit that things are out of control. Do I need to go over the list of consequences you've suffered because of your addiction?

The idea that I am an addict is absurd.

Listen to yourself. You sound like a mockery of a mullah.

I sound just fine. Because I am just fine.

All right, then. Since I can't make any progress with you today, why don't you just go to your room and I'll leave you to listen to the tapes.

No, not the tapes.

Yes, you must listen to the tapes until you understand that you are an addict.

Shit. OK, I admit it. I'm addicted.

To what, Mr. Mullah?

Sufism.

No, no, Mr. Mullah. You can't blame your problems on your religion.

I have a headache.




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