Friday, September 17, 2004

 

Thomism Weighs In


All this talk of flashlights... sigh. Submitted for Your Consideration:

Posit: The lights have never gone out in heaven before.

Posit: Since the lights have never gone out in heaven before, there has never been a need for artificial illumination; e.g., flashlights or candles.

Posit: Things are only created for a cause.

Posit: When there is not a need for something, it is not created.

Thus: There are not likely to be flashlights made or stocked in heaven.

Posit: Someone may have brought a flashlight into heaven, thinking that it might be useful.

Posit: Since there is no cause requiring a flashlight in heaven, the flashlight would have no function or need to exist.

Posit: Since the flashlight has no function or need to exist, its existence would be futile and even illogical.

Posit: Items with a futile and illogical existence are not allowed to function in heaven.

Thus: A flashlight would not work in heaven, even if one existed.

Thank you for your time. Sincerely, T. Aquinas, Th.D.

PS. The batteries would probably be dead, anyway.




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